This is without a doubt one of my favorite conversations (ever).
We've got a man who is a poet with his words (and has a great beard), Rainier Wylde on the show.
We get into the shadow. How it is the collection of those parts of ourselves that we have had to cut away or mask in order to belong. And Rainier takes us through his own journey with his shadow.
How many boys in modern society do not get to experience the “hunter stage”. Where the boy gets to learn to be pointed, purposeful, assertive. Learns that his voice matters, to be aggressive, disciplined and resolute. To be the same self in every room he walks in (AKA integrity). And how skipping this step does not allow the boy to internalize the belief that “life is hard and I have the capacity to meet it on it's own terms”.
How Rainier was “not able to keep his own agreements with himself or others” and how this came to a boiling point when he was faced with looking his wife in the eyes and telling her that he had betrayed her. And how in doing this, and taking a stand, for the truth, at risk of losing it all (friends, family, reputation) Rainier was able to take a massive step in his own evolution.
How belonging is the fundamental condition in the human psyche. Which is why humans are willing to sacrifice authenticity in favor of a false sense of belonging. We would rather be liked and accepted for who we aren’t than rejected for who we are.
How filling our “bucket of belonging” in a healthy way” begins and ends with authenticity.
The practice of radical authenticity in relationship, staying up to the moment in honesty with each other and how concealing (even small things) from our partner is a dangerous practice.
The danger of “worshipping” our partner in a relationship and creating a story around the other.
To connect with Rainier Wylde (he's got a book coming out in July 2021!):
Website – https://www.rainierwylde.com/
Instagram – @rainierwylde